Mass Effect: Devotion
by Blackout28
Summary: Tali’Zorah has rejoined the Migrant Fleet, and joined the crew of the Neema after delivering information about the Geth during her Pilgrimage. Her findings of how the Geth have given her people hope, that one day soon, they can retake their home world.
1. Prologue

Mass Effect: Devotion

**Prologue**

Location: Admiral Board Room, Aboard the Quarian Liveship Rayya.

Date: Jan. 17 2184

"Keelah, are you sure this is the right choice?"

Shala'Raan, one of the members of the Admiralty Board has always worried about the future of her people. At heart, she hopes that one day they can once again step foot on their home world. To set their feet upon the ground, remove the suits that have become almost a prison to her people, and reclaim the land that once belonged to them. She never thought that it could happen so soon, let alone be discussed while she was a member of the board. However, once Tali'Zorah had returned from her pilgrimage, she provided the data that would shake the Quarian landscape forever. She now knew that this day was soon coming, and that this was something the Conclave would let the board decide.

"We have to do this, we've already taken too long to decide what to do with the information Tali provided!"

Rael'Zorah knew that this had to be done. After all, he had a promise to keep to his little girl. Tali had returned just several months earlier with the OSD that had shocked the fleet. The geth had evolved, and in a way no one would have imagined. This was more than anyone thought could have been brought back from a pilgrimage, even for the daughter of an Admiral. It helped skyrocket his popularity with the fleet and the captain's tremendously, and helped him and Han's intention to retake the home world gain fruition.

"I'm with Rael, this is something we have to research. To see if it's the possibility exists."

Han'Gerrel has been friends with Rael since their time on the Yaska. He and his old friend had always been proud of their children, even if they told each other more than they told their kids. He remembered how much Rael glowed with pride when Tali brought back such an amazing discovery. He never saw a man happier. But now, the excitement of the find was gone. All that was left was the gift she provided. He had dreamed of the day where they would charge the geth, and take back what was rightfully theirs. That day was finally in sight.

"This is an utter waste of time and resources, any kind of provocation against the geth could start a war. We would just be throwing our people's lives away. It's too dangerous. We need to concentrate on the mission with the Idenna."

Zael'Korris was a great politician, but he knew he was out numbered. He knew that Rael and Han would pressure Shala onto their side, and Admiral Xan was always in favor of studying the geth. All he could do now was hope they wouldn't be reckless in their decisions, and hope whatever they found supported his side. He had hoped that the lessons learned from the human attack on the fleet would be a reminder that more violence was not the answer.

"I think it's time to take a vote on this." Han exclaimed.

"Agreed." echoed Rael and Daro'Xen.

"Vote whether you are in favor or against, sending recon teams into geth controlled systems, with the purpose of gathering information on their actions and activities, to determine the future course of the Migrant Fleet."

As the others took to their omni-tools, Shala gazed around the room. She watched as the other Admirals made their choice. As she knew they would, Rael, Han, and Zael all immediately locked in their votes, and then glared at the Shala awaiting the decision. Admiral Xen took a moment to ponder the effect of her choice, and then cast her own vote. Shala hesitated because she knew how important this was. This vote was going to determine the future of her people, but she wasn't sure if this was the step they should be taking. She just wanted her people to be safe, to be able to have peace and stop floating around the galaxy in relics that could fall apart at any time. She wanted that more than anything. The more she thought about it, however, the more she knew what choice had to be made. If the quarians wanted a world to call home, they would have to fight for it. To take risks that may put friends and loved ones in danger, but they were risks that had to be made. She reached to her omni-tool and cast her choice. Instantly the results were shown on the display, four to one. Her vote wouldn't have made a difference, but she was happy. She has no reason to regret her decision now. The quarians were taking the first steps toward war. She looked up, and announced the results to the rest of the board.

"The board has decided, that in the best interests of the quarian people, that we will begin sending recon teams into geth systems. Their main focus will be to gather information on the geth, to help determine the proper course of action in the future."

The other three agreeing captains all showed a slight joy in their body movement, while Zael'Korris lowed and shook his head in disappointment. He still couldn't believe they were doing this.

"Is there anything else we need to discuss, or can I go back to worrying about the safety of our people." Korris mumbled.

"I have a piece of news that needs to be passed along." Exclaimed Admiral Xen.

"I was hoping to meet the fellow, and hear of his experience with the geth, but unfortunately that won't be the case."

"What are you talking about Daro? Who could have more knowledge of fighting the geth other than Tali?" Rael was worried, he didn't like where this was going.

"We just learned this with our last connection into a comm buoy. Your daughter's former captain, Commander Shepard, has been killed in action."

As she explained the details of what she had learned, Rael sulked in his chair. This was bad. He was hoping to pick Shepard's brain one day himself, but this wasn't the real reason he was worried. His thoughts shifted to Tali. He hadn't talked to her much since she left on pilgrimage, but he knew where she was, aboard the Normandy with Shepard. Even though Daro pointed out right away that Tali had made it off the ship alive, Rael still worried about her. Any message that Tali did send, she raved about the Commander.

"If that is all, then I declare this meeting adjourned. Go in peace everyone. Keelah se'lai."

As he walked through the halls of the Neema, he continued thinking about his messages from Tali. He knew she cared about him deeply. Maybe she even loved him, even if she didn't know it yet. This was going to be a terrible shock for her. He had to be there for her when she returned to the fleet. Her hadn't always been the greatest father to her, but now that it mattered, it was time to make the effort.

As he continued to walk, he looked up and saw her running toward him. She was excited as she had just learned of their decision.

"Father! This is great news! What do you need me to do, I want to help!"

He thought for a minute, she was trying to distract herself. She was putting her thoughts of Shepard aside for her love of her people and the fleet. Deep down inside, she had to be crushed. It had to be killing her. The fleet, the geth, the home world, none of it mattered to her at this point. All that would matter was that her beloved commander was gone forever…


	2. Devotion: Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Location: Aboard the quarian shuttle Morani.

Date: June 7, 2184.

"How much longer do they need us to do this? We can't just keep throwing people's lives away! That's three more friends we've lost, that we'll never get back!"

Tali was getting tired of the run-around. Every time she asked someone on the admiralty board about her missions, she'd never get a straight answer. She knew it was important to her people. It was giving them an opportunity to learn more about the geth, and maybe one day, provide them with the ability to retake the home world. But was it really worth as many people they were losing? The more she thought about it, the more she realized that maybe the home world wasn't worth all the pain it was going to cause.

"You already know my answer ma'am. I just do what I'm told."

"Reeger, how many times have I told you, call me Tali."

"I'll try to work on it ma'am."

Kal'Reeger was your typical good soldier. Always willing to do whatever it took to help the fleet. He never opened his mouth unless a superior asked for his opinion. Even he was starting to feel the drain of these missions. This was the sixth one, and not once had they had a truly successful mission with everyone coming back alive. This time was better than most, but losing three of his men was still three more than he ever liked losing.

"We should get some rest ma'am; we had a rough go of it out there." Reeger then turns to his side, shuffles a little in the seat, and starts falling asleep.

Tali sat in silence for almost the rest of the entire trip back to the fleet. Her mind wandered to many different places as she fidgeted with the geth parts she was bringing back. She thought about her mother, and how much she missed her. With her father so wrapped up in the board and the fleet, Tali was raised mostly by her mother and her aunt Shala. She thought about the stories mother used to tell her before bed, and when she showed her how to repair her first suit. Each memory sinking deeper and deeper into Tali, until she almost felt like she was with her.

She didn't travel back to thoughts of her mother as often as she did before her pilgrimage. She knew what the world was like now, that things weren't going to be as easy and carefree as her time with her mother made it seem. Still, it was a place she still liked to visit. The engines continued to hum as the Morani made its way back toward the fleet. Tali's thoughts started to drift, away from her mother and the fleet. She started to think about her pilgrimage, and about all the friends she met along the way.

She relaxed a bit more in her seat as these thoughts soaked in. She missed her friends from the Normandy. It was the only place that she ever really felt like she belonged. The missions, the danger, the work, it all excited her. She was glad to be a part of it. But the more she thought about it, the more the smile inside her helmet started to fade, and sadness swelled inside her. Those days were over. All the friends had moved on to different things, making a difference in their own way. She was making a difference too, the fleet needed her. She couldn't turn her back on her people, but she knew she'd trade it all in for one more mission aboard the Normandy. One more chance to see him again, Shepard…

"We are 5 minutes out from the fleet, Tali'Zorah." The pilot shouted over the loud speakers.

Startled, Tali sat up and recaptured her bearings. She stood up from her chair in the cramped quarters, and made her way onto the bridge. As she looked out the front viewport, she could see the beauty of the stars. She always loved this part of the trip. Each one twinkled with a certain glow that always put a small smile on her face. It was as if they were there just to welcome her home, as she saw the thousands of ships in the distance come into focus.

"This is Tali'Zorah vas Neema, requesting permission to dock with the Neema." Tali crossed her arms, waiting for a response.

"Hello Tali'Zorah, bringing back the Morani in one piece I see, please verify." A voice chimed in reply, the first sign of their expedition coming to an end. The controller's voice was always soothing. Another mission survived, another mission complete.

"After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began." Tali replied. She always loved saying it.

"Permission granted, welcome home Tali'Zorah."

"It's good to be back, we'd like a security and quarantine team to meet us. Our ship is not clean."

"Understood, approach exterior docking cradle 05." The comm. line closed. It was time to go home.

Tali made her way back to the quarters, and started collecting all the pieces she had gotten for her father. She didn't know what they were for, but she was happy to help. He never told her any details, but he always told her to be safe and make sure nothing could endanger the fleet. It at least made it seem like he cared. Her father had never been one to show much love for his daughter, but she knew he cared. He promised to build her a house on the home world.

As she walked off the Morani, her thoughts started to drift again. She couldn't help it as of late. They always seemed to make their way back to the same place, and she never understood why. Always back to the Normandy and to Shepard. Maybe it was because he was gone, or maybe because she missed him, but it didn't matter. She continued walking, and let the sadness overwhelm herself. Perhaps this was the closest she'd get to being with him again.


	3. Devotion: Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Location: Aboard the Quarian Starship Neema

Nala'Andaru vas Neema made her way through the market area, and headed toward the elevator leading to the docking bay. She had heard that the Morani was about to dock, and wanted to be there to greet him, if he made it back. Every time Tali's squad left on a mission, they never all came back, and all she could do was hope that he made it back this time. She only met Tali a few months ago when she joined the crew of the Neema, but they fast became friends. She was probably her best friend on board, and the only one who knew how she felt.

As she made her way out of the elevator and into the docking bay, she saw that the ship had not docked with the Neema yet. She felt her stomach start to churn. She wasn't sure what to expect, she never fully understood why these missions were so dangerous, or what they were exactly doing. As much as she tried to get it out of her, Tali would never tell her. Even though she was a marine, Nala knew the only ones allowed to know were those that left in the Morani.

She made her way into the docking bay, and found a spot not in the way of the crowd of people moving through. She started thinking about what her friend was doing with these missions. Were they scouting for new home worlds on dangerous planets? Trying to acquire resources in the Terminus? She just couldn't get her head around it. Her stomach started to calm down a little, but she barely noticed it. She still couldn't get her head around what kind of mission would be so dangerous, maybe she would try getting it out of Tali again when she got back.

When she saw the Morani start to make its way into dock, a whirlwind of anxiousness filled her up inside. She wasn't sure what this was, but it happened every time they returned. The ship connected with the airlock, and came to a stop. A loud whoosh came as the airlock was filled with breathable air. The doors opened and the first few members of the crew started to step off the ship.

"Tali'Zorah!" Nala jumped for joy when she saw her friend step out of the ship. She ran up to her as fast as she could. "Keelah it's good to have you back!"

"It's good to be back, Nala." Tali was visibly tired, even with her suit on she couldn't hide it. Nala knew these missions were long and hard, even on the great Tali'Zorah, one of the few who helped defeat the geth at the Citadel. Maybe there was a reason for all the secrecy.

"I haven't seen him yet, did he make it?" Nine quarians had left the ship already, including Tali. She always took a detail of twelve marines with her, which meant this time only…

"What do you think Nala? You know he's too tough to be brought down on a mission like this." Tali had no problem keeping Nala informed. She was the only one who knew how she felt about him. "He's just gathering up the left over heat clips and weapons, he'll be out in a minute." No more than a second went by, that the tenth quarian stepped out of the ship.

"Kal'Reeger! Welcome home!" Nala bolted past Tali, and grabbed the bag of heat clips trailing behind Kal. Tali watched as she grabbed the bag, and was sure she could see a smile through her visor. Nala has cared for Kal ever since he saved her during a slaver attack while they were looking at a planet for colonization. He took a bullet that was meant for her, and allowed himself to be hit in the hip. He was down for almost a month with an infection; this is when Nala found her love for Reeger.

She visited him often, whatever she could do to see him. Bringing him little things to help him occupy the time, or talk about his missions for the fleet. No matter how much time she spent with him though, she could never bring herself to tell him how she felt. Eventually Kal left the hospital and returned to active duty. He was back to his usual, all for the fleet, self. It was shortly after that he was chosen to help lead Tali's squad, and Nala saw him less and less.

"Hey Nala, thanks for the help. You always have to see Tali as she comes back don't you?" Reeger was glad to get one less load off his shoulder. He already had to worry about the loss of three of his marines. It was nice to see a friendly face. He thought Nala was too hard on herself since the incident. Lately though, she seemed to be coming out of her rut. He was glad he got to see her after every mission.

"No problem, I'll take them to the marine locker for you." Nala had told him that the reason she always was waiting for them was for Tali, and she was always happy to see her friend safely return. Kal'Reeger was the real reason she was here though. She wished she could join them. She wanted to protect Kal. She owed him for saving her, but more importantly, she just wanted to be by his side.

As the trio made their way into the elevator, Nala decided it was time to see if she could get the mission out of them again.

"So where did you guys go this time?" Nala said coyly as she pressed the button to close the door.

"You know we can't tell you that Nala." Kal shut the door on that endeavor just like that. "I'm surprised you haven't found out about them all from Tali."

"I'm bound not to say anything just as much as you are!" Tali shouted back.

"Sorry Ma'am, just figured with girl talk and all." Tali put all her equipment into one arm, and then placed the other on her hip.

"Kal how many times have I told you!" Kal turned to face the two ladies.

"Sorry Ma'am. I'll keep working on it, now if you'll excuse me…" The door swished open, and Kal stepped outside onto the floor that led to the bridge. "I need to go make my report."

"See you later." Tali knew she wouldn't see him again until their next briefing.

"Kal wait…" Nala stepped forward, and placed her hand on the frame so the door wouldn't close. "Can I walk you to the Bridge?"

"Sorry, got to hurry, they are waiting for me. " Nala stepped back, disappointed.

"Oh, ok. Bye." She whimpered as she stepped back inside and let the door close.

"Don't feel bad Nala, you know the captain is waiting for our report." Tali placed her hand on her friends shoulder in an attempt to cheer her up.

"I know… I just wanted to walk with him." Nala reached over and hit the console, and the elevator started slowly climbing again.


	4. Devotion: Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Location: Aboard the Quarian Starship Neema

As Kal'Reeger walked down the hallway, taking care to avoid anyone who would pass by, his thoughts wandered to his recent mission. Three more soldiers, gone, all because he screwed up. He knew that the brass would have no problem with it, but he couldn't take it. The mission always came first, but getting all his marines back alive was a very close second in his eyes. He tormented himself, going over the mission in his head.

Their target had been a geth data cache. They had gotten to it with relative ease, and thought they had made it undetected. That's when everything went to hell. As the squad covered Tali as she extracted the data, the geth triggered an ambush. Reeger was pissed, he should have known better. He knew that the ease in which they made it to the data site was too good to be true. Right away, they tore through two squad members shields, and took them out. As the team continued to bunker down and provide cover fire, the geth were moving in to flank them.

Reeger ordered a shift in position to prevent them from being massacred. It worked until a squad member noticed that one of the two downed soldiers was still alive. Without warning, she tried to make her way to the downed quarian. Her shields were beaten down by geth fire, but she had almost made it. That wass when a rocket ended any hope of her saving her friend. Tali finished the data transfer, and the squad made their way back to their ship, and left the battle.

He finally reached the door to the bridge. He set down the equipment he had been carrying in a nearby locker, and made his way inside. As the door swished open, a great wave of noise overwhelmed Reeger. The bridge was always full of people, and full of noise on any quarian vessel, but the Neema wasn't just any quarian vessel.

"Kal'Reeger vas Neema reporting admiral, ready to deliver my report from the last mission, sir." Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema made his way over to Reeger. He had anxiously been waiting for this meeting all morning.

"At ease, soldier. Follow me; we will talk about this in private." Gerrel turned and the two made their way off the bridge and into a small office just outside. This was where the Admiral spent most of his time when he wasn't on the bridge, and where his sleeping quarters were located. As the door closed behind them, Gerrel made his way to a small desk in the corner, and sat down. Reeger continued to stand just inside the door.

"Well, how did it go? Were you able to secure the data?" Gerrel leaned forward in his chair.

"Mission to acquire geth data was successful, Tali was able to hack the geth data port and get us more info about Haestrom. Her expertise proved invaluable again, sir." Reeger looked down, he knew he wouldn't care, but he had to tell him anyway. "And we lost 3 more marines in the fighting."

"Excellent work, we need to find out what is going on with that star. The scientists are worried. A little more data about the system, and I think we will be near ready to send you in." Although he didn't show it to Reeger, Han was overjoyed. They needed to find out why this star was dying. Haestrom's sun was just a regular star when the quarians were force out of the system by the geth. By now, only 300 years later, the star was beginning it's decent into death. It wasn't possible, or it shouldn't have been. That worried the scientists on board the fleet immensely, but that was the least of the admiral's worries. He wanted the info on the geth.

Han'Gerrel had always been in favor of retaking the home world, but these missions were bringing him closer. Each successful return brought more data to be studied, more thoughts into geth processes, more info on their defenses and capabilities. 2 years ago, he never would of thought that an attack on the geth would be possible in his life time, but now, he could almost smell it.

"Here is the data, so the board can decide what our next more will be, sir." Reeger walked up to the admiral's desk, and set down the OSD. Gerrel stared at it in anticipation; he couldn't wait to see what this would unlock. What secrets it would bring. He had to get Reeger out of here so he could open it up as soon as possible.

"Good job soldier, I'm going to bring this before the board. We will discuss your findings, and decide on our next course of action." Reeger by now had returned to his place just inside the door and was carefully listening for orders.

"I want you to go rest now, once we decide what we are going to do next, I want you and your squad ready to move at a moment's notice. It will probably be a few days, but be ready. Is there anything else?" Reeger noticed the haste in the admiral's voice. Each time he dropped off more data, these conversations had gotten shorter.

"One last thing admiral, we need to inform family members of the deaths of the three members of my squad. We also need to start looking for their replacements." A little anger had seethed inside Reeger. There were always losses in their missions, but this was the first time the admiral had completely dismissed them.

"Ah yes, I almost forgot. Go inform my assistant of your members lost, and he will see to it that their families are informed." Gerrel was getting impatient, but he knew he couldn't just pass this by. After all, he was doing all this for his people. They couldn't be forgotten. "Proper ceremonies will be conducted soon to mourn their deaths. As for your new squad members, do not worry about that right now. We must first decide our course, and then we will provide the proper replacements for you." Reeger didn't like his casualness when it came to losing soldiers. His people should be more important to him than that, especially to an admiral.

"Aye aye sir, I will take my leave now and let you get back to work." As Reeger turned around, he heard something he didn't expect.

"I'm sorry for the loss of more men Reeger, but you're doing a good job out there. In time, you will see how important your actions are for the fleet." Reeger turned slightly back toward the admiral.

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."

As Kal'Reeger walked out of the office, he could hear the admiral open up his omni-tool, and start making preparations for the next meeting of the board. He made his way back onto the bridge, and informed Han'Gerrel's assistant of the losses during the mission. The assistant promised he'd take care of it right away, and took his leave. Reeger made his way back into the hallway, and started making the long journey back to his home. He was tired and upset. He needed to get some sleep.

He made his way back through the ship, and started thinking about his squad. The ones he'd lost, and the ones that always managed to make it through. Tali'Zorah was always the first to come up when he thought about them. She always managed to work herself into a tight situation, and always managed to get out. Her time on pilgrimage must have really showed her how to be tough, he envied whatever she did to make her that strong.

His thoughts about his squad continued, until he finally made it to his room. He pulled back the curtain, and went inside. His room was emptier than most, and he liked it that way. His makeshift bed in the corner, a few manuals on battle tactics, and some small bits and pieces for repairs were all he kept inside. Reeger lay down on his bed, and started to fall asleep. His last thoughts before he finally fell asleep were of his return, seeing Nala and Tali talking just outside the ship, and then Nala running up to help with his equipment.

"Silly girl." He thought to himself as his thoughts faded, and he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Devotion: Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Location: Quarian Starship Neema-Living deck

"Rala, for the last time, I can't tell you what our missions are!" Tali was getting annoyed. She knew Rala wanted to know about her trips off ship, but she never pestered her this much. "Why do you want to know so badly today?"

"I just want to know what you and Kal are up against every time you're out there and why all of you never come back." She was just worried, and Tali could understand that.

"Look, they are top secret. I'd get in serious trouble if I told you. I know you want to try and help us feel better, but shouldn't you worry about your own missions?" Tali replied as the two made their way toward their living cubicles.

"I got back from my mission yesterday, if you even want to call it a mission. All we did was scout out a system, I didn't even get off the ship." Nala was visibly frustrated. Her fists were clenched, and when she did speak, her arms moved with a ferocity that could only come from a deep care of someone.

"You are lucky, I miss missions like that, the ones where everyone comes back alive." Tali's thoughts started to wander off. Six missions, twenty-three squad mates lost. The geth were relentless in the defense of their data platforms. Why couldn't things run more smoothly? "Just be happy your missions go that way."

As the two continued down the cramped corridor, Tali looked around. There were still a lot of people aboard the Neema. Almost like the twenty-three that were gone didn't even make a difference. People were still going about their lives as usual. The beautiful cloths hanging from each cube showed no change. People were still bustling through the trading deck, taking and leaving things from the lockers and crates. Not one ounce of sadness was shown as you walked through the ship.

Tali and Nala's cubes were only 3 sections apart, which was how they met in the first place. Being the social people that quarians are, it didn't take long for the two to meet, and become fast friends. As they reached their destination, they said their good-byes, promised to meet up later, and went into their homes.

Tali pulled back the purple curtain that she used as a door, and made her way inside. Placing her equipment in the corner, she made her way over to the mat she used as a bed and laid down. She had almost forgotten how tired she was. She listened to the noise surrounding her as she started to fall asleep. The sounds of the engines and life support weren't as soothing as they used to be, but she still took a little satisfaction in them.

When Tali was younger, before her time aboard the Normandy, her dreams were always about the future. Mostly her dreams were about her pilgrimage, defeating the geth, or landing on the home world. Even aboard the Normandy, this was normal, save for the few about defeating Saren thrown in. Now that she was aboard the Neema, she didn't dream about the future anymore, only the past. The dream she had tonight would be no different.

She was in the wards on the Citadel, looking for the Shadow Broker. She had information and wanted to use it to find a safe place to hide from Saren. She had thought she had gotten a meeting with the Shadow Broker himself through a man known as Fist. How naïve she was back then. When she got there, a turian was waiting for her with 2 salarians. After a short exchange, she knew it was a set up. She set off a tech grenade and dove for cover preparing to defend herself. As she bunkered down, she heard the first rings of gunfire, but it wasn't coming from in front of her, it was behind her!

The bosh'tet set her up! She turned, knowing she was done for, hoping to take a few of them with her. As she turned to see the ambush, she saw three figures coming down the stairs, but something wasn't right. They weren't shooting at her, but the agents for the Shadow Broker. They attacked with a skill she had never seen before, and even though they were all skilled, one of them seemed to stand out above the rest. Little did she know that this was the encounter that changed her life.

As she awoke, she sat up and started to think. Why was she always dreaming about him. He was gone, killed in an attack almost a year ago. She knew she missed him, after all, he was the one who made her return possible. She never thought that he would be in her mind this much. She stood up and gathered herself. She looked over her suit quickly to make sure she hadn't scuffed or damaged anything during her sleep. When everything checked out, she pulled back the curtain and made her way outside. She made her way over to Nala's cube, and carefully opened the curtain so as not to awake her if she was asleep.

"How did you sleep Tali?" There was Nala, fiddling with her pistol.

"Alright I guess." She said. "It's just sleep you know."

"Not for you lately, did you have another dream?" Nala had stopped tinkering with the pistol.

"Yeah, it was about when we first met this time." Tali had came inside the cube and sat down next to Nala. "Do you think it means anything? It's been like this almost every night since I got back to the Flotilla."

"I don't know what to tell you Tali, dreams are a funny thing. Are you ready to go get something to eat?" Nala stood up, and offered her hand to Tali.

"Sure, let's go." Tali took her hand and stood up. The two girls made their way out of the cube and started walking toward the supply deck. Tali wondered to herself why these dreams kept coming. Maybe she hadn't come to grips with him actually being gone, but then again, she cried for almost a whole day when her father told her the news. She didn't know, but this wasn't something that would be figured out today. She buried it deep in the back of her mind, and continued to the task at hand, going to eat with a friend.


	6. Devotion: Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Location:  Admirals Quarters, Quarian Starship Tonbay

Shala'Raan had known Tali since she was born. She had linked suits with her mother so she could be there at her birth. Now that her mother was gone, Shala was the closest thing Tali had to a mother. Whenever she went out on a mission, she worried for her safety. Whenever she got back, it was like the weight of the world was brought off her shoulders. She didn't like sending her on these missions, but her experience with Commander Shepard was too much to deny. She was the best engineer on the Neema, maybe even the entire fleet. She was the best on for the job, and Shala knew it.

Shala sat aboard the Tonbay in her office. She, like all the other admirals, used their office as their place to sleep, so there was more room for another quarian to live. She was working on some population numbers when the message came in.

Shala went over the message on her terminal. She was about to go get some food, but some nutrient paste would have to do for now. She grabbed a tube of it, hooked it into her suit, and started to eat the grey, gooey paste as she read the message. The Moreni had returned, and the information recovered had been deciphered. It was determined that the geth station that was struck last, was a listening outpost, used to monitor the extranet. It wasn't searching for anything specific at the time, but the point of the message was clear. It was time for the Admiralty Board to meet again. The meeting was to take place in two hours. Shala deleted the message, and then opened a communication channel with the bridge.

"Admiral Raan to the bridge."

"Yes Admiral Raan, what can we do for you?"

"There is going to be a meeting of the Admiralty Board in 2 hours, I'm going to need a pilot for my shuttle. Is Ved'Shal available?" The answer was hesitated, but after a few seconds, it finally came across.

"Yes ma'am, he is available, should I tell him to prepare your shuttle?"

"Yes please, if you don't mind, tell him I would like to leave in about 1 hour."

"Roger ma'am, will do. Keelah se'lai."

Shala closed the communication channel, and began to take stock of anything she may need. As moderator of the board, it was her job to regulate the meeting, and keep records of the decisions the board had made. These latest meetings however, weren't public knowledge, nor would they be any time soon. She had to keep them in a separate, encrypted place, so they wouldn't leak out.

As she downloaded her records on to an OSD, she thought about Tali some more. She remembered the day when her and her mother gave Tali her first suit at age 12. They had put countless hours into it, and wanted to show their care for the child, and make her a very beautiful suit. It was standard black like a lot suits, but on one of their travels, Tali's mother found some beautiful purple cloth at an Asari outpost. She wanted to work it into Tali's suit because it had always been her favorite color. Shala had an idea to use the cloth around her waist, almost as like a dress or skirt, but Tali's mother quickly shot that one down.

"If she's anything like her mother, her hips will get enough attention soon enough. We don't need to start that any earlier." They eventually decided on using it as a headdress for the top of her helmet. The rest they would save for her next suit, as she would grow out of this one in a year or two. It ended up being a gorgeous suit. The purple and black mixed very well. The various belts, clips, and buckles Tali's mother had been saving all made the suit look great, with the little bit of gold mixed in. When Tali saw it, she giggled and yelled in happiness. Shala was proud of the gift they had provided for Tali, almost as much as Tali was herself.

Shala awoke out of her day dream to the beeping noise made by her terminal signaling the download was finished. She collected the OSD, placed it in her omnitool, and collected other bits and pieces of information she would need for the meeting. As she stood up, another message appeared on her terminal. It was from Tali, telling Shala of her safe return and wishing her well. She was sure Tali knew that word would have been passed along of her return, but she enjoyed the sentiment anyway.

She left her office and made her way toward the docking bay, which was at the bottom deck. She had a way to go, so she decided to let her thoughts drift off again. She remembered Tali's mother getting sick, another outbreak of sickness making its way through the fleet. It ended up being that an air filter had broken down, and almost half an entire deck aboard the Rayya was getting ill.

Fortunately, antibiotics were distributed throughout the ship and most people were saved. Unfortunately, Tali's mother was one of the first to get sick, and she was too far along in the illness for the antibiotics to take effect. Tali spent every minute she had left with her mother, and Shala was there almost as often. Rael came by often enough, but Tali was the one who really suffered when she left them. She cried for almost two whole days, and wouldn't leave their cube for almost a week. Shala had never seen Tali that upset before, only until recently had she seen anything even close.

As Admiral Raan made her way off the elevator, and into the docking bay, she was greeted by her pilot.

"Hello Admiral Raan, it is good to see you well. " Ved'Shal was standing at attention, ready to great the Adrmial.

"Hello Ved, it is good to see you too. Is the ship ready?" They started to make their way to the shuttle.

"Yes ma'am, everything is prepared. We can leave immediately." Ved took a few quick steps in front of Shala and opened the airlock for her. Shala had always liked Ved, ever since the first time he flew her shuttle. She had requested him ever since. He was always very polite, and a good quarian at heart. What she liked about him most, was his stories. The man always had stories about his family, and it made Shala glad to hear of such happiness inside the fleet.

They made their way onto the ship, and Shala took her usual sear in the co-pilots chair. Usually she had always sat in the back, but she didn't want to use the intercom to hear Ved's stories. As the ship detached, Ved kicked in the controls and pulled the shuttle away from the Tonbay, and headed toward the Neema.

"So Ved, how has your family been since the last time we spoke?" Nala inquired.

"Haha, you always love hearing my stories, don't you Admiral?" He said as he punched in the coordinates for the Neema.

"Of course, would I sit up here otherwise? Besides, the stories make me feel younger, remembering my days as a parent." She had turned to face Ved. As he started to tell a story of how his daughter enjoyed her first suit that he and his partner had just gotten for her. Shala lost herself in the story, as she stared out to the stars, the Neema had started to come into view.


	7. Devotion: Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

Location:  Docking Bay, Quarian Starship Neema

Rael'Zorah maneuvered his shuttle into the docking bay of the Neema. He took extra care as to not create any turbulence that could disturb the stack of OSD's left in the co-pilot seat. They had been there for weeks, but he was in no hurry to move them. They were there, waiting for that certain piece of geth data, to unlock them, and allow them to be turned against them.

He shut down the shuttle, collected some small data files he would need for the meeting, and made his way off the shuttle. As he opened the door and walked into the airlock, he started feeling optimistic.  
"This was it," he thought to himself. "Tali had come through this time, and got exactly what he needed to find a weakness in the geth."

He made his way into the docking bay, and greeted the few technicians standing by. They were busy fixing some small electrical problems with one of the other airlocks. He knew he should have just let them work, but he was in too good of a mood to be impartial toward his fellow quarians. Two things would make this day perfect, getting the data he needed and seeing his daughter.

He walked out into the main hallway of the bay, and saw another shuttle making its way to dock with the Neema. It had the distinct markings of the Tonbay. Shala was also just arriving, and Rael wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to talk to an old friend about something other than business. He walked his way over to the exit of her dock, leaned up against a nearby rail, and waited.

The doors on the shuttle slid open, and two quarians walked out. Rael could hear them laughing as they walked their way down the dock into the bay hallway. They stopped right before the next set of doors and bid farewell to each other. As her pilot made his way back toward the ship, Shala reached over and opened the door and made her way through.

"Hello there Shala." Rael said cheerily as he walked up to her.

"Hello Rael, have you been here waiting for me?" He could tell she was surprised to see him.

"I just got here right before you. When I saw your shuttle coming in, I figured I would wait and talk to an old friend. How are you?" The two admirals made small talk as they made their way out of the docking bay and into the elevator. As the door closed, Rael turned to Shala.

"Have you talked to Tali much lately?" He had been talking in a more playful tone before, but now there was a stern sound in his voice that had previously been absent.

"No more than usual, she sent me a message right before I left for the meeting." Shala continued to look forward, knowing that Rael was giving her a look underneath his helmet.

"What did she say?" He had an almost desperateness in his voice.

"Not much, just to tell me she was back from the mission, and she was safe." Shala continued her blank stare forward, wondering why Raal had become so interested in their relationship.

"Oh, well what else…" Shala cut him off mid-sentence this time as she turned to face him.

"What is going on with the sudden interest in my and your daughter's friendship?" She was curious to see his reaction. Rael had never questioned her so intensely about his daughter before.

"I don't know. I just haven't talked to her much since we started sending her on these missions. I miss her; she is my daughter after all." Rael was visibly shaken. He wasn't trying to provoke Shala or anything. He was just curious about his daughter. Since she returned from her pilgrimage, she has barely said two words two him that didn't pertain to a mission. "It's just she's been so distant with me lately, with us being on different ships now. I wanted to make sure it was just me and not with everyone. "

Rael had never been all that close with his daughter, but he had his own way of showing his love. He wanted to make sure his family was always protected. The fleet and his people meant a lot to him, but it was easier to show his love for them than it was to show love for his family. Still, he always cared for Tali, and tried his best to be there when he could.

It's been much harder lately to keep in touch with her, especially since she returned to the flotilla. He doesn't know if it was the experience she had fighting the Reapers, or losing the best friend she had made while she was away, he wasn't sure. Their views on the fleet didn't help matters either. They both loved their people very much, but how they showed it was completely opposite. Rael did whatever he could for the fleet, even if it ignored the individual. While Tali was all about helping each person, making their lives easier, even if it made things a little more difficult for the flotilla.

The two of them got off the elevator in silence, and started walking their way toward the meeting room. Rael moved forward, but he wasn't even thinking about the meeting. His thoughts were still focused on his daughter when Shala finally spoke up.

"Rael, we've been friends for a long time, and I know you care for her. Isn't it time to start showing your daughter how much you care about her? Stop putting so much time into your projects for the fleet and start spending time with her"

If his helmet wasn't covering his face, Shala could have seen his shock. Rael knew he didn't do his best, but he didn't think it was that obvious to his friends.

"Your right Shala, maybe I should try harder."

The two admirals finally make their way to the board room. They made their way inside and notice that only Han'Gerrel was present, sitting at his designated place working on a portable terminal.

"Welcome Shala and Rael. A little early today I see." Han looked up from his terminal. "The two of you had no problems aboard my ship I assume."

"Hello Han," Echoed the other two. They proceeded to take their seats, and as they did, Admiral Zaal'Korris made his way into the room, followed closely by Admiral Xen. The other two admirals took their seats, as all started to prepare for the meeting. After a few minutes of silence, Shala finally stood up and addressed the group.

"This meeting of the admiralty board is brought to order. There is only one topic of discussion for today, the results from the geth infiltration team's latest mission. Han'Gerrel, you have been in charge of deciphering the findings, what have you discovered."

Zael watched as his friend hesitated, then stood up very slowly. He hadn't thought much about the meeting since he got onboard, but now he was nervous again. Feeling back to the way he was on the shuttle, almost to a point of getting excited. This had to be good news, Tali's time with Shepard had made her strong.

"The crew did very well, unfortunately, what we thought to be a cache of geth data bases turned out to be a storage facility for platform designs and a program storage facility."

Zael sat back, on the inside he was crushed. Another opportunity wrecked by faulty intelligence. But still, a certain amount of pride started to grow inside him, another mission, and another success. Tali had done her father proud. Now one more time, she would get to go out, and prove how great a quarian she really was.


	8. Devotion: Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Location: Marine Training Center, Aboard Quarian Starship Neema

Kal'Reeger sat behind the concrete slab, and went over his ammo stores. Four heat clips left, and only a shotgun and a sniper rifle to use them. He still had 5 enemies to take care of. He loaded a heat clip into the sniper and peaked over the ledge, no one in sight. He was in good position, in a spot where no one could flank him unless they wanted to risk being out in the open for at least a second. At least he wouldn't die in a crossfire, not here anyway. And for a skilled soldier like Reeger, one second was more than enough time to take someone out.

He slid out of cover, and steadied his Sniper. He knew it was only good for one shot per heat clip, but he needed a quick kill, just to get their numbers down. He looked over at the sections of cover, and held his sniper at the ready. He saw a geth start to peek it head out from a stone pillar, and promptly put a hole through its flashlight head. He reloaded and looked around for his next victim. They were down to four. The odds were at least a little better now.

He saw another geth pop out of cover, but before he could get a shot off, it opened fire with its assault rifle. Damn synthetic bastards, their rifles were always so accurate. Only a couple shots hit his shields before he got back behind cover, but it was enough to knock them down to sixty-five percent. He checked each side of his cover and peeked out to make sure they weren't flanking him.

When he saw that the gunfire stopped, he poked his head out the side, and looked for anything he could shoot. The geth that was shooting had ducked back behind cover, but another one was getting ready to fire a rocket launcher. He stayed there long enough, to draw the fire of the rocket to that side of cover, and once it was fired he jumped to the other side. The explosion shook him a little bit, but no damage.

Then he checked again to see if a geth was moving to flank, and this time he saw a lone geth trying to get over to his left side. He pulled his sniper up quickly, took aim and fired. The shot went through the geth's arm, into its torso, and rammed itself directly in the central processor, shutting it down and killing it. He was glad he didn't miss, because he was done for if he did.

"Ok three left and two clips." He thought to himself. He would have tried to charge in and maximize his ammo with the shotgun, but that rocket launcher complicated things. No way could his shields handle a direct hit from a rocket. He was going to have to draw it close, or catch it out in the open and use the sniper again. Gunfire started to rain down from both sides now, and he knew what they were planning. A rocket was waiting for him when he popped out to return fire. This was his only chance with the sniper. He either had to take a risk, and pick it off before the rocket got there. Otherwise hope his chances with a shotgun charge would surprise the geth.

He loaded the sniper, and readied himself for when the gun fire stopped. That moment seemed to go on forever… drawn out worse than his time in the hospital. When it finally did stop, Reeger quickly stood up and looked to take aim at the rocket launcher. There he was, waiting for him next to an old pile of scrap. Reeger took a quick but careful aim, and right as he was about to pull the trigger, a flash filled the scope. A rocket was heading right toward him!

He only had a split second to adjust his aim, fire, and duck back into cover. He quickly gathered his bearings. Light from the rocket still filled the scope, but he could still see what looked to be an outline of the geth. He wasn't sure whether the geth was still there or not but he didn't have a choice. He pulled the trigger, and ducked back behind cover before the rocket got to him. He had no idea whether his shot hit the mark or not.

Reeger closed his sniper rifle, and reached back for his shotgun, and loaded his last heat clip into it. His Katana only had 5 shots with this one heat clip, so he had to make them count. He peeked out to see if he had hit the rocket geth or not, but there was no sign. He had to take a chance now. With only 5 shots, it was unlikely he would be able to take them all down if they all still had fully functioning shields, not without shooting at point blank range.

He checked to see if any geth were looking out, and when he saw they weren't, he leaped from cover and sprinted to the first barrier to his right. No gunfire. He peeked his head out again and saw where one of the geth had been standing last when he saw them. He was in range of the shotgun now. Reeger waited, and when the geth turned to fire, he launched a barrage of pellets at him, ripping through its shields, but he wasn't close enough to do the damage needed to stop it. Reeger fired again, this time the blast ripped through the geth, rendering it useless.

He had three shots left, but no way of knowing if there was one or two geth left. As he ducked behind cover, he saw one of the geth hiding behind a small chunk of rock. The rocket geth, if it was still alive, would be right behind it, and destroy Reeger if he made a run at it. He had to think. Could he draw it toward him? He had to try.

Reeger jumped out, and ran toward the recently destroyed geth. He fired a shot in the direction of where he thought the rocket geth was, trying to draw out the other. It worked perfectly, and right as Reeger got to cover, the geth opened fire. He waited for his chance to strike back, and when the geth stop firing, he went for his counter-attack. However, the geth's heat clip wasn't empty. It had laid a trap of its own. When Reeger came out of cover, it fired another burst from its assault rifle, which was enough to disrupt his shot, lower his shields, and make him miss.

He quickly dove back behind the scrap. Damn, shields down to 5%, might as well not have any left. He had only one shot left, and still no sign of the rocket geth. He only had one choice now. Kill one with the shot, and beat the other one to death with the shotgun as a club. He again poked out and drew the geth's fire, making sure this time it overheated the heat clip. As the gunfire stopped, Reeger came out of cover like he was fired from a cannon and headed straight for the geth. When he got within 5 meters, he fired. The geth didn't have a chance, as the shot ripped through its shields and turned it into a pile of junk. Now to see if he lived, or died, did his sniper shot at the rocket geth hit its mark?

Reeger quickly regripped his shotgun so he could hit the rocket geth with it, and ran for its piece of safety. As he got there, he saw the rocket launcher lying on the ground, right next to a red geth with a hole in its flashlight. He had no clue how his shot hit it so accurately, but he wasn't going to complain. Reeger relaxed, and let his shotgun fall out of one hand and drag behind him as he started to make his way forward. The rocket geth flashed, and then disappeared.

This was why Reeger loved his ship, the only one in the entire fleet with a fully functioning battle simulator, just like the one the Alliance used at Pinnacle Station. As he walked off the platform, and out of the simulator, he set the shotgun down and place the fake heat clips onto a shelf. Then he started walking his way out.

"Wow Kal, how did you pull off that sniper shot on the rocket geth?" The technician was in utter disbelief. No one ever survived that simulation when he's ran it. It was a five star difficulty program, and most people didn't kill three geth, let alone all five.

"Sometimes kid, you got to be good. Sometimes you got to be lucky. I'm lucky enough to be both." Kal grabbed his equipment bag and walked out of the room. He needed to blow some steam, and shooting up a bunch of geth was just what the doctor ordered, even if it was just a simulation. These missions were hell. He knew the next one was only going to get worse. He had to keep himself in top shape to stay alive, so when the time came, he could give his life for the mission.


	9. Devotion: Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Location: Mess Hall, Quarian Starship Neema

Tali and Nala sat in silence as they ate what the Quarians passed off as food. Both were still a little sleepy from the naps they had both just finished.

Very rarely was a quarian able to eat food. Since resources were so limited, that had to make a nutrient paste that most quarians relied on for sustenance. This paste was grey and very bland, with almost no taste at all, but it was all quarians could do. On the Flotilla, very few luxuries were allowed, just because their resources and space was so limited.

As Nala sat there twirling her food tube in her paste, she thought about Kal. She hadn't seen him since he left their company in the elevator. She could tell that the loss of men was hard on him. Each time back, he seemed to get a little more isolated. She worried for him.

"Not hungry Nala?" She looked up. Tali had finished her paste, and was sitting there looking at her.

"I don't know, just have things on my mind." Nala continued to swirl the tube.

"Your thinking about Kal aren't you?" Tali had set her tray aside, and clasped her hands together in front of her.

"Yeah, I'm worried about him. He seems like he's drifting further away from us each time he comes back." Nala said as she took in a little of the paste. "I just wish he would talk to someone about it."

"You mean you wish he would start talking to you about it." Tali said with a giggle. She was always good at cheering Nala up.

"So what if I do? It's not my fault he had to go and save my life. Didn't your commander do that for you a couple times?" Tali sulked in her chair a little.

"Yeah, he did, more than once." She said with the sound of regret in her voice. She remembered the dream she had. He came out of nowhere just to save her. Just like the knights of medieval times she had read about while she looked over human history on the Normandy. She always liked those stories when she read them, even if a lot of them weren't fact. "Beside, Shepard was different; he was my Captain and a good friend."

"Yeah? So what, you still…" Nala was cut off mid sentence as her and Tali's omni-tools started beeping. They both had received a message at the exact same time. Nala wasn't sure what it meant. She couldn't figure out who would need to send the same message to both of them.

"Do you think it's the same message?" Nala sputtered as she reached down to check her message. "Who is yours from?"

"Auntie Raan, she wants to meet with me, what about you?" Tali said casually.

"Mine is, the same thing… this can't be right. Why would an admiral want to meet with me?" Nala said this with concern. She knew that Tali and Shala'Raan were close, but she really didn't know Nala. Why would she want to meet with both of them?

Nala stood up, and took her and Tali's paste trays to the return table. Tali followed her there, and then the two girls made their way to the bridge.

As they walked through the ship, Nala's mind was racing. She couldn't figure out why Shala wanted to see both of them. Did she do something wrong? Was someone they knew sick or in trouble? No, no, none of those could be it.

"Come on Nala, why are you falling behind?" Her's thinking had slowed her down, to where she was a good ten steps behind Tali.

"I'm sorry, wait up!" Nala quickened her pace to catch up to her.

"Nala, what's on your mind? I can tell when something is bothering you."

"I'm just trying to figure out why I'm being called to the bridge with you, that's all."

"Isn't it obvious?" Tali's comment struck like a bullet. She already figured it out?

"What is it then?" Nala looked at Tali in wonder.

"You finally get to find out what Kal and I have been up to on these missions you are always so curious about." The shock of her words stopped Nala dead in her tracks. She was going on their next mission. She couldn't believe it. Sure, she was a Flotilla Marine, but she was nowhere near as skilled as the rest of the team. She usually didn't go on missions with such high importance. The only one she did, Kal had to save her from being shot.

The two women made their way to the bridge. When they walked in, they saw admiral Raan, and Tali's father waiting for them.

"Hello Tali, how are you?" Her father asked as he opened his arms to embrace his daughter.

"Hello father! I wasn't expecting you to be waiting to greet us here." Tali hugged her father.

"Tali, I haven't seen you in weeks, I needed to be here." The two broke apart, and her father spoke again.

"Nala it is also good to see you, you did very well on your last mission. So well in fact you're going to be reassigned." She was still in shock. She didn't think anything was special about her last mission. She managed to pick off a few geth, but it wasn't anything she thought would earn her any special attention. That's when Shala broke her train of thought.

"We need you two to follow us; we are going to be briefing your team once we all arrive." She then turned and started making her way to the briefing room just off the bridge. Tali, Rael, and Nala followed and made their way inside the briefing room.

The room was set up just for marine meetings, though usually only used by the more important missions. Nala had only been in there twice before. It had fifteen or so chairs set up facing forward, with a display in the front, with a console to run it.

Nala made a quick scan of the room. The rest of the squad was already in the room, all eleven others, including Kal'Reeger. They were seated and awaiting instruction as Admirals Han'Gerrel, Daro'Xen, and Zaal'Korris we already standing in the front of the room waiting for them. Tali and Nala took their seats near Kal, as Shala and Rael made their way to the front. Han then stepped forward, and was the first to address the group.

"Welcome marines. For those of you who were a part of the last mission, good work. You all did very well." He stepped back in line with the other admirals, and Rael made his way to the front.

"To those of you who have not been a part of these missions before, I will get you up to speed. You are now a part of this special unit. This infiltration team is doing a very important mission for the flotilla. Its sole mission is to be sent out to locations deemed points of interest, and to infiltrate geth outposts in order to allow Tali'Zorah to extract information from their memory banks and information systems." Shala then stepped forward.

"Your primary mission during these operations is to keep Tali'Zorah safe, and assist her in capturing any geth data. She must be kept safe at all costs." As she said this, Nala was in a state of awe. She couldn't believe her friend was that important to the fleet, or that she had an entire squad sworn to protect her. That must be why she never liked talking about it, because never had everyone made it back alive. That is when Zaal'Korris interrupted.

"But do not forget about the rest of your squad. Each one of you is important. These missions are very dangerous. We have not had a truly successful mission yet, but they are of utmost importance to the fleet" Shala then chimed back in.

"You all are sworn to secrecy. You are not to talk about these missions to anyone outside of this room. Anyone found to be in violation of this, will promptly be charged with treason, and be subject to exile." All the admirals then, except Daro'Xen, took the open four seats sitting in the front of the room. Admiral Xen made her way over to the console, and fired up the display.

"Our scout teams have recently discovered a geth facility on the moon Tashol. This moon orbits the planet Ammut in the Ma'at system. Your mission is going to be to infiltrate this facility and protect Tali'Zorah as she extracts any data she can about the geth."

Nala sat there and listened to the mission details. Her hands had started to shake. The more admiral Xen explained, the more difficult the mission seemed to be. Were these the kind of odds Tali and Kal faced every time they went out on a mission? She was scared, and the more Daro spoke of the mission, the worse the shaking got, until eventually Tali noticed. She placed her hands on Nala's to help her hide the shaking, and to comfort her. She then leaned over and whispered to her.

"I know this sounds scary Nala, but I'll be here the whole way, don't you worry." This didn't stop her hands from shaking at all. Nala whispered back.

"Tali, I'm not scared because I might die. I'm scared because I never imagined that we could be this close to war, and that you two have been risking much for the fleet!"


	10. Devotion: Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Tali was down in engineering when the alert came over the loud speakers.

"Brace for evasive maneuvers!" Joker's voice screamed as the floor jolted and the ship started making a series of sharp turns. Tali grabbed on to the counsel trying to keep her balance. The ship made a hard turn and Tali almost lost her footing when the first attack connected. The ship shook like it was hit by an earthquake.

"Power to thruster four is offline," Adams yelled from his station. The two of them were the only ones in engineering when the attack hit. Adams had realized how good Tali's advanced tech skills were, and that he was the only one who needed to really be around on most days when she was there. Now however he needed all the help he could get. "We have to get everyone… "

He was interrupted by another strike onto the ship. This time Tali couldn't keep her balance and she fell as the other crew members were frantically making their way into the room. Everyone was holding on for dear life as the ship continued to shake.

Tali managed to stand back up and look at the power grid, ever thing was in chaos. Readings were off the charts with power fluctuations. She started trying to get things back under control, but it wasn't easy. Thruster one wasn't receiving enough power to fully function, thruster three was overloading with too much, and thruster four wasn't giving off any readings at all, like it had just been ripped off the ship.

She tried getting the power back to stable conditions. The ship kept shaking as attack after attack came and went. She had no clue what was going on, except that she had to do her job. She finally had gotten the power spikes to stop thruster three from cutting out, and that's when the emergency alert came, it was time to abandon the Normandy. She turned to make sure Adams saw the warning as well, she turned and saw him right there standing in front of her.

"Tali, we need to get everyone out of here. Help them get out, I'll stay and see if I can help give Joker more time!" Adams was trying to push her along toward the door, but Tali was having none of it. She looked over at status monitors, and saw that the engines were barely holding together. They were to the point of shutting down all together.

"Keelah Adams, there's nothing we can do to save the Normandy, we need to get out of here."

"But Tali the Norma…"

"We need to get out of here Adams! The Normandy is done for!" She interrupted. Tali grabbed onto Adams' sleeve and looked him in the eyes through her helmet. She knew he wouldn't see the seriousness on her face, but it was the best she had to try and get her friend to go with her.

"Alright Tali, your right, let's go!"

The two of them ran out of engineering and into the hallway that led to the cargo hold. Fires were burning on the walls and ceiling, and cables were strewn about everywhere. The seconds seemed to drag on for years in that hallway. It seemed like forever until they got to the cargo hold. Everything was thrown everywhere, guns on the floor, the Mako slammed into the back of the bay, armor and equipment scattered about the floor. That's when they heard someone shout.

"Tali! Adams! Over Here!" Tali whipped around to see Garrus making his way toward them, fully suited up with sniper in hand.

"Tali, we need to get to the escape shuttles. This thing isn't going to hold together much longer!"

"I know Garrus, we are heading to them right now! Let's move!"

The three of them ran through the ship, and Tali started to wonder about the rest of the crew. She wondered who else had made it to the shuttles alive so far. Did Presley or Chakwas make it? What about Ash, Liara, and Wrex, they were all skilled enough to make it through a situation like this. Joker was probably still up in the cockpit, and she knew he wouldn't give up on the ship. That's when she stopped dead in her tracks. Someone was going to have to get Joker out of there.

"Wait Garrus, what about Joker? He's not going to leave the ship!"

"Tali, he's all the way up on the bridge, there's no way were are getting to him in time before the ship is blown to bits!"

"Garrus, he's our friend! We have to try!" That's when Tali felt the arm on her shoulder.

"Tali, he's right, you're only going to get killed if you do that. Beside, do you think Shepard would let him throw his life away just to stay with the ship? No, he'll get him out."

She knew he was right. Shepard was always there for his crew. He was the hero of the Citadel, and if anyone could make it out of this alive and save Joker, it was him.

"Alright Adams, your right, Shepard won't let him die for nothing. Let's get to that shuttle."

The three continued their mad dash through the Normandy, helping anyone they could along the way. The destruction and horror was beyond anything that Tali thought she'd ever see in her life. This was one of the most advanced ships in the galaxy, and it was being torn apart like a vorcha eating varren meat. They turned a corner and had to make their way around a fire when they finally reached the escape hanger.

"Alright, everyone into the shuttles! Move, move, move!" Garrus was moving people into one of the shuttles, as Tali was helping others into a different one. Another explosion rocked the ship as Tali helped the last escapee into the shuttle, Garrus was still standing outside, closing the door and launching his shuttle.

"Garrus, is there anyone else? It seemed like so few made it here!"

"Tali, this ship is falling apart, we have to go now!"

"What about Shepard and Joker? They haven't made it yet!"

Garrus finished launching the other shuttle and ran over to Tali. As he got there, he stopped at the entry way to the shuttle, and grabbed her arms.

"Tali, if we don't go now, all these people will die. I know you don't want that, and neither do I. You know Shepard. He won't leave Joker to die, and he can handle himself. Right now we need to help these people get to safety. "

Tali looked down at the ground. She had seen almost every moment that had made Shepard the man he was today. She saw him save her life and implicate Saren as a traitor. She saw him destroy the Thorian and save the human colony on Feros. She even saw his sadness when he lost Alenko on Virmire, and his pride when he came out of the rubble after the long hard fight with a Sovereign controlled Saren. Unfortunately, this was one moment she was going to have to miss.

"Alright Garrus, your right, he'll make it out! Let's go!"

The pair hopped into the shuttle, and Tali launched the shuttle into space. There were seven of them inside the shuttle. Tali, Garrus, engineer Adams, and four others who Tali had recognized from around the ship. As the shuttle started to gain some distance, everyone made for the window.

Tali looked out, and was shocked at what she saw. Blasts of energy were tearing the Normandy apart. She was witnessing the death of the ship she had grown to call home. In the last few moments, she saw one last escape pod pull itself away from Normandy before it exploded right above the planet's atmosphere. A small smile made its way onto her face. There they were, Joker and the Commander were getting out of there safely.

Tali watched as the ship was torn to pieces by the explosion, and watched as the escape shuttle drifted from view. She looked back to the Normandy, seeing the pieces of the best thing she had ever had, drifting away.

"Look, over there, floating away from the ship." One of the crewman called out. The group moved and shifted so they could see the small object floating away. That's when Tali's hope was stolen from her. "Shepard…"

Tali jumped up and felt the sweat running down her face. She was still in her room, sweating and shaking so much that anyone who could have seen her inside her suit, would of thought she was dying. She sat up straight and leaned forward, as she placed her hands together in front of her. She gathered her bearings as the cloth that covered her door way burst open, and there was Nala standing there.

"I heard you shout and say his name again Tali. Were you dreaming about him again?" Tali lowered her head. She hadn't been dreaming, she was reliving one of the worst moments of her life.

"I just watched him die again Nala." Nala saw how much Tali was shaken. She sat down beside her, and hugged her friend.

"It's ok Tali, its ok. You're home, you're on the flotilla." Tali could feel herself calm down. Why were these dreams haunting her? It was getting to where the dreams were happening almost every night. Even now it was to the point she was crying out in her sleep, but thankfully Nala was awake. That's when she realized how quickly Nala had gotten there after she cried out.

"Nala, how did you get here so fast? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I couldn't sleep, too much to think about with the mission coming up." Nala nudged up closer to her friend and held her tight. "Besides, that's not the issue right now. Don't you think it's time to tell Shala about these dreams? Maybe she can help."

Tali had wanted to tell her aunt Shala about Shepard, but she was worried what she would think. She had a way of seeing into Tali things she didn't even see herself most of the time. Tali was usually annoyed by this because she liked finding these things on her own. It helped her grow as a person, and she didn't want that taken away.

But her feelings about Shepard were different. This was one thing she figured was best left alone. Shepard was gone, and she figured it would just go away eventually. But now, things were different. This dream was too real to simply just be ignored. She had to talk to someone, and Nala wasn't sure enough about her own feelings to talk to her. It was time, time to talk to the person that was just like a mother to her.


	11. Devotion: Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

As she went through her preparations for the next mission, Tali's mind was elsewhere the entire time. She didn't think about the geth, her squad, dying, or anything like that for the duration of the day. All she could think about were her dreams. Each one was different, but they all had one central theme, Shepard. She had dreamt about when they first met and their talks down in engineering. She dreamt about the battles on Feros, Ilos, and the Citadel, and now, she had the most vivid and heartbreaking one of all, his death.

After it happened, Tali and the remaining crew of the Normandy were rescued. When they all got together, Joker told them all about what had happened, the few seconds before Tali saw him drift away. How Shepard had saved his life at the cost of his own. Even in death, the man was willing to give everything for his crew.

The funeral on the Citadel was a spectacle beyond measure for those in attendance. Since his body was never recovered, the ceremony was kept private to military, family and friends. Even though he was never found, the council went all out in supporting their savior. It was a beautiful ceremony, a proper goodbye to a hero. Admiral Hackett of the Alliance gave a moving eulogy, telling of a great man, who did nothing but great things. Tali sat next to Garrus and Engineer Adams and cried the entire time.

All of them had become close friends to the Commander, and everyone thought they knew how bad she felt, but none of them really did. She had lost the one person who helped her the most in those trying times. A man, who she was always watching, and realizing he wasn't just another human, he was her commander, her captain, her friend. She wasn't really sure how do describe the feeling, other than she cared about him more than anyone else she had met in her life. He had done so much that she even considered not returning to the flotilla, but staying on the Normandy. None of that mattered now.

When she returned to the fleet, Tali tried to stay strong. In front of her people, she was somewhat a hero, bringing back one of the most important finds from a pilgrimage in a long time. The information she recovered about the geth could give the quarians insight to recovering their home world. She was glad to help her people, but it didn't take away the sadness in her heart. It was almost cruel. When she set out on this journey, this was exactly what she wanted when she returned. She wanted to give her people hope, to bring back something great, and to make her father proud.

Now that she was back, she had accomplished exactly what she sent out to do, and it meant almost nothing. She had just given a great gift to her people, which would have an impact on them for generations. As great as gift like this was, it was insignificant compared to the gift he gave, the one that was taken away from her, forever.

Now here she was, around a year later, getting ready for one of the most dangerous missions in her life, and all she could think about was a memory and a ghost.

"Tali'Zorah, a message has just arrived for you." A voice off in the distance said. Tali composed herself, she was glad her visor hid her few solemn tears.

"What is the message Lo?" She said softly as she made her way over to the messenger.

"Admiral Raan has come as you requested. She will meet you in the briefing room." The messenger then gave a quick farewell and made his way back to his station.

As Tali made her way toward the meeting, she was uneasy. She had never really talked to anyone about how she felt about Shepard, but she had to get it out. Tali realized as she was walking, that she never felt this way about anyone before. She was twenty-three, and hadn't even considered linking suits with anyone. She started rubbing her hands together in front of her, a nervous mechanism of hers, as she got closer to the room. She didn't know what aunt Shala would say when she told her, she just needed her to listen.

Tali stood outside the briefing room, more nervous than she had been in a long time. She slowly reached for the metal door, and opened it. She peered inside and saw Shala sitting near the observation window starting out into space. Tali glided into the room trying to put things together in her head.

"Hello child, it is good to see you." Shala said as she turned around and faced Tali.

"Hello auntie Raan." Tali replied with hesitation. "It's good to see you too."

"I'm glad you called me here to talk before you leave on your mission. I was going to come and say goodbye before hand, but it pleases me to see that you would like to talk as well." Shala had started to make her way over to Tali.

"We don't get to see each other enough." Tali said with slight excitement as she hugged her, trying to hide her nervousness. She wasn't doing a very good job.

"What did you want to talk about Tali?" Shala asked as she placed herself in a chair in the front of the room where Tali stood.

"Auntie Raan, I need to talk to you about something, I mean, the mission is coming up and I'm having trouble because there's a lot on my mind, and I can't think about the mission. I know I should be thinking about it but there are other things, so I asked you to come because I should be thinking about the mission, and I need your help, and..."

"Tali, you are babbling. Are you nervous?" Shala interrupted.

"Right, I'm sorry. It's just, I've never talked to anyone one about anything like this before, and it makes me nervous, and I don't know what you're going to say and…"

"Tali, you're doing it again. Come now child, sit and calm down." Shala motioned Tali to take a seat next to her. "Now, tell me what is on your mind."

"Auntie Raan, I've been having some problems sleeping lately. I've been having some dreams about my past. I've been thinking about them, and it has kind of made me realize something." Tali looked down at the floor and began rubbing her hands together again.

"What is it Tali?" Shala said as she placed her hands on Tali's.

"Well, with these dreams. Do you remember when I came back from my pilgrimage? I told you all about my travels with Commander Shepard, about watching him, and helping him with his mission, saving the citadel. Then you asked why I seemed so distant, why I seemed like I was crying so much, and I told you how I watched him die. Well I was crying, and I think I know why." Tali looked up at her aunt.

"You loved him, didn't you Tali. You still do." Shala held her hands tighter together. "These dreams you've been having are about him."

Tali didn't speak; she gave a fake smile to her aunt through her helmet, then looked back down, and started to cry. Shala leaned in and pulled Tali close. She knew with her mother gone, and her father distant, she was the closest thing to a parent she had. She could feel Tali cry and shake as she poured tears into her helmet. Then she heard Tali whisper something, a small wish. A wish that, until a year later, she would have thought would have been impossible.

"I wish he would come back. I just want to see him one more time… I miss him…"


End file.
